When I start working with a client who is a little frustrated at where they are in their life, and what they want seems to be too far away and outside of reach, I start by helping them get an idea about their Three Circles of Influence.
This is a great exercise that you can use as a Life Coach, and you can play along with me as I show you how it goes.
You draw three circles and title them “Control,” “Influence,” and, “No Go.”
The idea is that there are many aspects of you life. Some things you have control over, they go in the “Control” circle. Then, there are things that you might not have control over but you could offer input, do, or say something that might make whatever it is go one way or the other. You have some influence over those things, so they go in the “Influence” circle. Then, there are things that you have no control of and no influence with, so those things go on the “No Go,” circle.
Your life is made of all three circles.
I always get my client started with writing something in each circle, like in the first one, if you think about it, “What is something that you have control over?” Some starters might be, you have control over what you think. Or you have control over how you behave (many of us learned that one the hard way). If I am working with an advanced client, he or she might have control over what they do, or how they feel. You always have something you have control over, even if you’re feeling very overwhelmed or helpless, and things feel like they are totally out of control.
Then there are the things that you can offer some influence which can have a affect on someone or something, like, can you offer support to someone who is feeling down? Do people come to you for advice? Can you share an experience where you were not in a good situation, but you made it to the other side? You could never have control over the way someone thinks or feels, but you could influence what they think or how they feel by giving them something to think about. This is influence.
The third circle is the “No Go” circle and you put all the things that you have no control over or influence about how it goes, so it goes in the No Go circle. And I think in every case that I have seen, the No Go is full and overflowing of things that we have no control over. It is that way with everyone because that is the way this life is, there is so much that just happens, and we just have to deal with it no matter how much we don’t like it.
When you have finished writing the things that you have control over, the things that you can influence, and the things that are a No Go, you want to understand how to focus your energy, your life force.
You want to give as much attention and energy in the things that you can control the most, and then with what energy is left over focus on the things you can influence. As for the NoGo’s, you already know, there’s nothing you can do about those things, so don’t waste any energy on those things.
Of course, I’m not saying to just ignore them or pretend that they’re not there, you do have to do what you have to do, but don’t spend any of your precious energy worrying about it.
Now that you’re empowering your client to conserve their energy and spend it powerfully, how about giving them some more energy to work with.
There’s nothing better to build up your energy than finding ways to have fun. And that’s my next tip. One Word: FUN!
Being in the vibration of joy is all about being happy right now, whenever and however you can get it. So find something you can do that makes you feel good, and the better it makes you feel, even better, as long as it’s legal.
If you start living in the positive vibration of joy by having fun, more good things start happening in your life, and you will so surprised at how good a life you can be living, and how much fun it can be
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